Sometimes, life happens without you. Meaning, you don't have to control every aspect of everything. Is it apathy, or letting go? I have recently been challenged on a very personal level to let go of something that was very important to me. It was causing me a great deal of stress to try to control it, and the fear of losing it was keeping me in it. I closed my eyes .... and jumped ...... and fell .... and I am now in a free fall, trusting that the Universe will create a safe place for me to land. I feel scared and alone, but I also know that it is better than feeling the pain I was residing in. I am now at least free, and in the words of Janis Joplin, "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." There IS freedom in that pain.
When we try to create things the way WE think they should be, we are actually interfering with the process. There is a fine line between controlling our destiny and allowing it room to happen. For instance, say you hear about a job which sounds perfect for you. You take it, and as you get further and further into it, you start to realize that it is not what you thought it was. You stay there, because you don't know what else you will do, and you are unhappy. Maybe you have a "degree" in this, or you have always dreamed about this job, and you let your fear of the unknown keep you in a place that you know is wrong for you. Many of us are in these situations, be it your job, or your marriage, or friendships, which cause us stress and pain and we are unhappy, but we stay out of obligation, or fear, or both. Before you know it, you have been in this situation for half your life, and you are even further indebted to it. Many people live their entire lives in this manner, and then wonder why they are unfulfilled, and angry. They are angry with themselves, but in order to admit this, they have to change, so they stay in the cycle. They pass along this attitude to their children, and here we go with another cycle of unhappiness. Do we really want to teach our children this lesson? It is certainly one thing to honor your commitments, but it is entirely another to martyr yourself out to obligation.
Honoring yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. When you make even the smallest choices, such as to "just say no" to that PTA fundraiser, or to go for a walk instead of cleaning the bathroom, you are giving yourself the freedom to be happy and to choose yourself over obligations. On the other side of it, when you see someone choosing themselves over others, be respectful of that. When I ask my friends for a favor, it is their choice: if they say no, I am NOT going to be mad. When you release yourself from saying yes, you are saying yes to yourself.
Be happy and free today. Namaste.