Relationships are changing, and the divorce rate is at an all time high, as is depression, and suicide. I see this alarming trend as an indication of a paradigm shift. This is not your parent's relationship anymore. We have to find our own truth and happiness, and start living from the love we have for ourselves, instead of looking for it in others. The time is NOW!
"Once upon a time" has been replaced with "living in the now" and "going with the flow". Our parents raised us to create the same kind of relationships they have, and their parents had, and so on. However, the energy of the planet has shifted and changed so much, that these co-dependent connections no longer work, in the long term. That is why there is such a high rate of divorce, and why so many people are finding themselves single, or unable to find connections. What I have found is that, we are all being asked to step into who we are, ALONE, and finding happiness within, BEFORE we are to step into a love connection. Instead of the old, "You complete me" paradigm, we are moving into, "I am so happy and fulfilled, as are you, let's share our happiness with the world together!". No longer is it serving us to spend all our time with our "better half", rather, we are each taking space to do the things that we love, with other friends, and then coming together with our love partner for more intimate pursuits. Sometimes, you will do things together, but many times, you will both be off pursuing your passions, and are happy for each other to be doing what makes the heart soar! We do not require another person to validate us or fulfill us; we can find that ourselves. It has taken me many years to navigate this new energy, but, for the first time in my adult life, I do not feel sad that I am not in a relationship. I feel excited that I am finding happiness in myself, and this means that no one can take it away! I used to give away all my power in love, and match my energy to the man. Whatever he wanted to do, I was there, whether I liked it or not. I was unconsciously following the old pattern of "Be who and what HE wants" and I never really truly learned who I was, or what I wanted. It was a constant issue, as I watched one relationship after another fail miserably.
I am building a new paradigm for myself, and as I talk to others, I find that they are also struggling to make the old patterns work. It is exciting for me to be on the forefront of this movement, where I do not NEED a man, or a relationship, to be happy and fulfilled. I have carved out my own utopia, and I am open to sharing that with a partner, but I do not HAVE to, in order to be happy. I will CHOOSE to, when, and IF, the right person comes along.
Some of you are probably wondering about sex, and I will freely admit that I do miss intimacy, BUT I have learned that, when I am happy and fulfilled with my personal passions and empowerment, it is not nearly as important as it used to be. Many of us use sexual energy to heal our sadness, I would even venture to say that MOST of us have, at some point, had a sex addiction, as it releases "happy hormones", and can definitely create a temporary sense of contentment. But, when that feeling wears off, you seek it again, and the cycle continues. When you are with a partner who has their own happiness, and you have yours, you will enjoy being with them in whatever capacity presents itself. Taking a walk, watching a movie, cooking a meal together, takes on a whole new meaning, when neither of you is stuck in your ego. Conversations are so stimulating that you may prefer to talk all night, instead of sex. I know, it sounds crazy, but I promise, it is true, and it is amazing!
In summary, relationships are changing, and the only way to find the perfect mate, is to find the perfect YOU. You will attract the person you want, by embodying those traits you seek. If you find yourself in an endless parade of love connections, and you swear you are "doing it right", but nothing is working out, consider a dating hiatus. Take yourself on dates, walks, focus on who you are, what you want to create for yourself, and watch your happiness grow. Before you know it, someone will start walking alongside you, and you may not even realize it, at first, but your love connection will grow from the seeds of individual contentment, rather than a paradigm of codependency.
Wishing you all much love on this glorious day!