How high do you go?

I was explaining to my teenager the concept of a "pain threshold," and as I was telling him how, as newborn beings, we have nothing to compare our pain to, and so every little bit of discomfort is an occasion for crying. This is truly the epitome of "living in the moment". As we grow older, we experience more pain, and we realize it has an end, and we start to understand that certain types of pain are more uncomfortable than others. Emotional pain is also learned, manifesting early on as fear, usually of punishment or even physical pain. These emotional lessons cause us to make choices which are designed to avoid pain, and thus begins our lesson on denial and self deprecation. The pain threshold increases, and as we grow older, we start to understand that we can actually "check out" of this emotional option, using distractions such as alcohol, sex, drugs, and food. We block our pain and therefore we block our lessons. if you take pain medication for your physical pain, it can sometimes result in you re-injuring yourself, since you are blocking your nerve's communication with your brain, which is your warning from your body. In the same way, blocking your emotional pain can cause you to continue to repeat the same mistakes and therefore, never recover from that injury.

The last few days have been painful for me, and I have been tempted to create distractions for myself. But as I sat at home last night, more alone than I have been in a while, I found a place in myself which enjoyed that, and welcomed the pain as a teacher. Today I feel a little sad, but it is nothing I can't "handle." Relationships teach me a lot about myself, and when the other person is in more pain than I am, I have to reach inside myself and use the resources I have created from past pain. This is a gift, and one I use quite often. Creating the space to let this happen is key. Hope everyone had a great holiday!

In this moment, I live

I seem to be at a loss for words recently. I find myself saying "WOW" a lot. I consider myself a fairly intelligent individual, yet there are not many words to describe the strange happenings which I find myself enmeshed in. I have made some decisions which have resulted in my life's direction changing a bit, one of which is to be in a long distance relationship. Now, when I say "long distance", I don't mean the valley. I mean almost 3000 miles away, which is practically the moon. I have always said that I wouldn't do this, yet for the second time in the last 2 years, I am "doing it." I ask myself why I can't find anyone who lives within 100 miles of me, yet I have no answers. This man is an amazing human being and we fit together like 2 parts of the same puzzle. Yet I still find myself questioning every aspect of this strange and wondrous phenomenon, much as you might inspect a beautiful new car that you are constantly wondering if it is part of a dream that you have acquired it. Is it real or is it fantasy? Can I just live in the moment and accept that life is offering me something magical, but not quite letting me have it yet? And finally, will I destroy it before it has a chance to manifest in the best way possible? Living in the moment has always been a challenge for me. It was never in my best interest, as an abused child, as I needed to plan everything so that I was never vulnerable. I find this to be the most challenging step to take in my life right now. To be truly vulnerable, and open to the possibilities that life has to offer, you must let go of the past, and the future, and relax. You can not concern yourself with what others will do, what they will think of you, and what they expect of you. You simply must gather information and make decisions based on that truth, which is the only truth that matters. If someone is constantly unable to meet your expectations, it is not their "fault," but it is information. We have all heard the saying, "If it is meant to be, it will happen."  I met someone recently who is of this same mind set, and we emailed back and forth about getting together, only to realize that we needed to let it go and wait until it came back to us. We both realized it wasn't the time, and we were able to laugh about it. When something feels like it needs to be forced, perhaps it is just "not meant to be."  Relax and let it go, and see how, or IF, it comes back to you. Make the space in your life for amazing things to happen, and they WILL. We all deserve the best things that life has to offer us, and if you believe that, TRUST that, you will be right EVERY time.

Namaste ~ Andrea

Having what you want

I watched "The Secret" again last night, and it really made me look at my thought processes lately. When we find ourselves in a negative place, where we are constantly expecting the worst, guess what? You will manifest that. If you expect to get bills every day and not have enough money, YOU WILL. So, I have developed a mantra. Any time I feel those negative thoughts coming in, I say to myself over and over, "Happy, Healthy, Wealthy", until I feel at peace again. And WOW it really works! A week after I started this, I find myself in a completely different place mentally. Things have started to move forward in my life again.

The Law of Attraction is simple. If you think it, you will manifest it. I think everyone can agree that we are basically life forms that run on pure energy. The atom is energy, and that is what our physical bodies are made of. If we focus all our energy on negative things, we will draw those things to us. So why not focus on drawing in all the things we want? I've always believed that If you focus on what you DON"T want, you will get that. So why not try focusing on what you DO want? Instead of, "I'll never find a parking place," "I bet I'll find a spot right away."  I gotta tell you, this really works!  Imagine what you could have if you really set your mind to it? I hear guys saying all the time, "I always end up with crazy women," and guess what? They are absolutely correct! I wonder what would happen if those same guys developed a mantra, "I will find the perfect woman for me," every time they hear this other negativity start up? I feel confident that they would notice a shift very quickly. Same with a job, or money, or health, or anything that you find is not as you want it. Why do some people have all the luck? The Law of Attraction. They have subconsciously developed a positive thought pattern which creates the things they want, simply by postulating it.

The way I see it, what do I have to lose by trying this? I have SO much to gain. I hope you all are willing to create the lives you can imagine for yourself.

Fear Factor

I hear people say all the time, "Once I figure out what I'm doing, I'll move forward." Isn't this backwards? Don't you have to move forward to figure out your life? Life experiences are what shape us. We have to fail in order to learn how not to. When I hear someone say something like this, I know for sure that they are not in charge of their life. I wonder if THEY know that? Probably not. Fear is a horrible teacher. When you make choices based on what you are afraid of, it may feel like the safe choice, but in the end, it is the least rewarding one. Do you want to live life being "safe?" Or do you want to learn and grow as much as possible? My friend is in a relationship with a guy, where they are both insecure. Neither of them is able to ask for what they want, and even though they have been together for a long period of time, she is unhappy and, I suspect, so is he. I encouraged her to ask for what she wants, and she is afraid. Afraid that he will not give it to her. So is the better choice to stay in a relationship where you are unhappy, and never get your needs met? Or are you better off facing that fear, speaking your truth, and possibly getting what you want?  And, in the end, you will ALWAYS get what you want, even though it may not seem so at the time. If a relationship ends because you asked for your needs to be met, well then, great!  Now you can find someone who appreciates you and can give you everything you want and deserve. It may not feel good at first, but let me tell you, it is the better place to be. Anxiety and insecurity are NO WAY to be in a relationship. If you choose to be in your truth you will ALWAYS win.

A Day in the Life

Today was quite the day. My son Zach (14), is in the elite choir at his high school. They got invited to sing the national anthem at the Laker game tonight. I volunteered to drive, and it was an amazing time. The kids were given VIP passes and ushered to the holding area underneath Staples center. I managed to wrangle for myself and another mom, the ability to stand on the floor during the kids' performance, so that we could take pictures and video. The sight of our kids, standing behind the Laker players, singing their hearts out, was very moving. It was such a special opportunity, and the fact that we live where we do, offers us these kinds of things very frequently. The kids did great, and we were all exhausted by the time we left. The adrenaline rush was killer! My other son, Sam (7), got an opportunity today, as well. He was in Costco with his dad, and a woman came up to him and asked him if he would like to be on a television show, which currently airs on Nickelodeon. Of course, he was very excited about this, and I offered to take him to the audition. When we got there, there were SO many kids there, I couldn't believe it. We stood in line, and filled out a form, and as we moved to the front, we were able to see some of the kids doing their auditions. Sam began to get nervous, and wanted to leave. I tried to talk to him, the director tried to talk to him, but he was just too scared. They asked that we call them and come to the next audition, and we left. On the way home we talked about it and I reminded him that he needed to do what made him feel happy. It's not about what i want for him, or what his dad wants. It's HIS choice. He may go to the next one, he may not. I just want him to follow his heart. Isn't that the important thing? Anyway, that's my day. Im freaking exhausted. Good night!

Hot ... or Not???

I'd like to talk about senseless things for a minute. When I'm having a bad day, and complain to someone about it, and they say, "Come on, your life can't be that bad, you're hot!" I think this is a very ill informed person. Everyone is human, and everyone suffers from human interaction. For example, women don't tend to like me much. I'm not sure why, but it happens. So, every once in a while, I am the victim of someone's psychotic break. My neighbor, who is a woman, really hates me. One morning, when I was getting my son ready for school, she came over and decided to have a freak out on my front porch. The day before, I had called the cops on her kids, who were stadium blasting rap music into my bedroom window. She decided to scream at me about this. She proceeded to tell me that I should "move if I didn't like it". I told her that maybe THEY should move, if they wanted to be that loud. This, she did not like. She then put her hand through the screen, trying to punch me, and I closed the door and called the police. She stood in my front yard, screaming obscenities at me, for a good ten minutes. My son hadn't ever heard some of the words she used, and was asking me about it. When the police arrived, she denied everything, and they basically told me that I needed to videotape her next time. Otherwise, nothing they can do. It has been about 9 months since this incident, and I still get threatening phone calls from her, and she yells at me when I drive by. Her teenage daughter also likes to call me a whore when I drive by. I have the video camera ready, and next time I hope she doesn't really hurt me. So I ask you: How does me being hot help me in this situation? I actually think it may be part of the reason she hates me. She used to be a hot blonde woman, and now she is overweight and clearly unstable. I'm happy and she isn't. People hate others for being happy. Ever noticed that? It's a very strange phenomenon. Be miserable and unattractive, and you are ignored. Be happy and healthy, you are a reminder to others that they are not. How about if we just stop judging others and focus on our own issues? I don't think there is any shortage of those.