Recently, I have been thrown into a vortex of self examination. One of the major issues I have been battling is a Lack mentality. This shows itself in many ways, and most of the time it keeps us stuck and unhappy. It's not always about money, as people generally tend to assume. Many times it also manifests itself in relationships, family and otherwise. Someone asked me the other day, "Why do you think women stay in abusive relationships?" It's certainly not a simple answer, but one of the factors is certainly that belief that you can't do better, that, somehow, you deserve this. So, you may ask, how do I get OUT of that mentality? It's not something I can teach you in one blog, but I can share a few things to get the ball rolling. I have been going to the same place to get my hair cut for a number of years, and recently, I started to understand that I was doing this for the wrong reasons. I was rarely happy with the result, but I felt that she "needed" me as a client, and she also "gave me a good deal." Neither of these reasons outweighs the fact that I did not like the result. I was staying stuck in that relationship, and keeping myself in a situation where I was unhappy. The next day, I called and made an appointment with a stylist who I absolutely LOVE, but he is more expensive. I got a GREAT cut, and am very happy with the result. In addition, he asked me to join his professional network, which is in alignment with my passion and purpose! Do I "feel bad" when I have to leave someone behind? Of course, but I also realize that enabling them in their pattern will not do either of us any good. If they wish to become empowered, that is their step to take, but it is important for me to take care of myself and always make the choice that serves my higher self. In this space, I am more equipped to help those who wish to do the same.
Another way this pattern keeps us stuck is being in familiar territory, also known as a comfort zone. We hang onto relationships that no longer serve us because "we have known them since high school," or whatever the case may be. Sometimes we do this with our family relationships. We stay stuck in the past, never truly seeing them for who they are as adults, and never allowing ourselves to grow out of that dynamic, either. We all know the saying, "If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep manifesting the same results." That is never more true then with this Lack mentality. If you keep hanging out with the same people, who support you in this pattern, you are going to stay stuck.
The other way you can identfy patterns of lack, is that you are living in the future. You say things like, "I can't wait until I have ......," "I'd be happy if I won the lottery,"or, "I can't wait until the weekend, my next vacation, etc." You are living in the future, instead of embracing the present, and creating a life that you enjoy. You are placing your happiness in material things, or money, and ultimately, all the money in the world will not fill that empty space within you. Having said that, money is a necessary evil in our modern world, and it's important to have your basic needs met. I am talking about all the extra "stuff" we collect, the consumerism we participate in, and the shopping addictions. Research has shown that the happiest people are those who have the least (watch the documentary "happy"). They have food, shelter, clothing, and community. They enjoy their families and each other, and no one cares what the others are wearing, driving, or how big their television is. Simplify and watch how your anxieties abate.
Energy work can help you to move these patterns as well, so, if you would like some help, let me know! I am happy to work with adults, as well as young people.