A Total Eclipse of the Heart

I didn't plan to be awake for this lunar eclipse. I didn't really even WANT to be awake right now. But, after 2 hours of tossing and turning, I give up. My soul is speaking to me and I have to listen. There are events transpiring in my life right now that are going to change a lot of things around me. I have lived in shadows of my past for too long, and it has not served me, or anyone else. My life's purpose is knocking very loudly at the door, insistently, and it is not going away. It is intruding upon my sleep and my waking hours equally. Every relationship I forge right now is about this. As I watch the moon being overtaken, I feel a kinship to it. I know what it is like to be overtaken by another. I have felt the total eclipse of myself, by others, by energies, and by my own guilt, shame, and fear. Have I been a victim? Many times. But, I must be honest, I am sure there are many who would say that they were victims of MINE. As with anything, my intention was never to harm anyone. I was only reacting to what had been passed along to me. I feel sure that anything that was done to me, was done in the same vein. And for these transgressions, I forgive them, and I forgive myself. "For they know not what they do," and I believe this with all my heart, soul, and body.

I am who I am

As I begin my emergence, there are many who will be angry with me, and even hate me. For in exposing my shame, theirs will also come to light, and they will have a choice: deal with it, or hate me. Most will choose the easier option, and I have come to a place in my life and my evolution where I accept this as a reality. However; this is why I have kept silent for so long, because I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to cause any more pain. But it has become increasingly evident that these people will never forgive themselves, and they are passing their shame along to their children, and I can't deny my truth, or theirs, any longer. It is time.

Above all, we must not lose hope, or faith, or our belief in the greatest gift of all: LOVE. It is only through love that we will emerge victorious and whole.