Perfection is totally overrated. All my life, I have had people accuse me of being "perfect" or of thinking that I am "perfect." This always confuses me. Inside my little world, I am completely and totally IMperfect. I beat myself up to the point that it is not healthy. I cry and scream and lose my temper. I find myself having to apologize to many people. I have even been guilty of sending a couple of hotly worded emails to my boss and coworkers. I have learned that what I think of myself is not at all congruent with what others think of me, and this fact disturbs and confuses me. Consciously, I think I am one of those people who "lets it all hang out." I also get accused of being "too sensitive." If I were to build my life around what others think of me, I would be a study in inconsistency. I have become acutely aware that most of what others think of you is actually a projection of themselves. When I am accused of being "perfect," this is a reflection of another person's perceived IMperfections of themselves. Why else would someone be crazy enough to think that I am without flaws? Or, even more astounding, that I THINK I am without flaws? When I am accused of being "too sensitive", this is simply their insecurity about being INsensitive. Next time you find yourself on the other end of an accusatory finger pointing, think about it this way and see if it makes sense to you. I have found that it makes a lot of difference in how I respond, and I can stay calm. I can even have compassion for the fact that this other person needs to release some of their pain so that they can feel better. I don't have to accept it, but I can watch them let it go.
I have had a really busy and emotionally crazy week so far, and it's only Tuesday!! Today I came home to a mess and yelled at my son. I found myself apologizing to him after I had taken a few deep breaths. My overwhelming day is not his problem. I can find validation in this situation, and I know my son will be the first to tell you, I AM NOT PERFECT! I am more human than I would like to be, some days. So next time you find yourself judging another person's behavior, think about it from the other side. Allow yourself to be human and practice forgiveness for yourself, as well as others. I promise it will not make you perfect:) And why would you want to be?