5 things that hijack your happiness
/When I ask someone if they are happy, they almost always say, "Yes!" It has become automatic in our society. We all know that we are "supposed" to be happy, and have been taught that no one will want to be around us if we are sad, depressed, or angry. People even get defensive if you try to empathize with them. There are several things that seem to get in the way of really being honest with yourself, and moving past that fear of having feelings that are uncomfortable. Until you really deal with those feelings, Happiness will elude you.
1. Distractions:
In this author's opinion, distractions are the number one problem in society today. I hear people talking about how "busy" they are, and this seems to give them some sense of self importance, and purpose. Unfortunately, when you keep yourself so busy, you do not have time to really look inward, and thus you continue in a pattern that is likely not working for you. If you do not have time to get together with friends, or exercise, you are who I am talking about. You may not even "have time" to read this blog. Those who seem to be the most entrenched in distraction are the hardest to reach, and may never get out of it. Eventually, your body will not be able to keep up, and you will be forced to sit down, lie down, or simply slow down. When I first learned to meditate, being still was TORTURE for me. I had to work my way up from 5 minutes, and now, after 5 years of practice, I can sit and be quiet for an undetermined amount of time. I used to be considered an extrovert, but now, I realize, I need a lot of alone time. I still enjoy being social, but I do not have the same desire to always be the center of attention, and the life of the party. I prefer to observe, and appreciate the simple things in life.
2. Excuses:
I am sure you have some very good excuses for why you can not do the things that you really want to do. Most of us could write a book of them! There is never "a good time," you are always "too busy," and most of all, you "don't have the money." Some people even take it to the next level and start making excuses based on what they think the other person wants. You can't follow up with that person because "They are probably too busy," or "It isn't a good time for them." Next time you hear yourself starting a sentence with "I can't do that because...." stop and ask yourself why you REALLY aren't doing it. Why aren't you making the time? Why are you constantly in a state of emergency so that you can not pursue the things that you really want to do? If you don't have the money, why not? Are you spending your time and money on things that do not serve you? Finding your truth in these situations will make your path clear.
3. Beliefs
A large amount of us are stuck in a belief system that is not even ours. We are taught from birth to do things a certain way, and they become unconscious patterns, which create circumstances that become "who we are" and "our life." Our parents and caregivers are likely also unconscious of these patterns in themselves. When a young child sees and hears a parent or caregiver exhibiting certain thought and behavior patterns, they absorb it and begin to take it on as their own. This has been proven time and time again with studies and research in the most respected fields. What has not been widely examined is how deep these patterns go. When my kids were little, I admonished them for yelling in the house. When my oldest began to question me, I could not come up with an answer for "Why?" I realized that my parents had forbidden my brothers and I to yell in the house, and so I just absorbed that into my knowledge, and it became a "rule." If you find yourself saying things like, "I have always done it this way!" but you can't come up with a real reason, that is likely a belief that was instilled in you, and it may not be your truth. This is another thing that can really block your flow of creativity and purpose.
4. Ego
If you are a regular reader of my blogs, you probably already know about this one. One of the books that changed my views, and my life, is Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth." In it, he talks about how we allow our Ego to run our lives, and it is never in our best interest. The Ego is that part of your consciousness that makes you feel like you need to defend yourself, and pass blame. It is formed when we are children, and we learn how to lie, and shift blame, so that we do not get "in trouble." It is a shame that most of adult society is rooted in this pattern, because it does not resolve anything; rather, it only passes the baton and relocates the issues. If we could look past the Ego and face our faults and issues head on, we would move through them and really evolve as a society. To live in your Ego is to constantly feel fearful, and it is almost impossible to create from this space.
5. Fear
It has been said that most people are more afraid of success than they are of failure. To succeed means you will have to change your routine, and it falls into the "fear of unknown" category. To fail means you stay where you are, in the familiar, even if you don't like it. It is human nature to cling to the familiar, and our ancestors needed to do this in order to survive. Venturing into the unknown in ancient times would often lead to death, or at the very least, mortal danger. Fear is a healthy part of being human, when it comes to jumping off a cliff, or diving into dark waters. However; it seems to really cripple us when it comes to making personal decisions in relationships, career, etc. This is a time for moving forward, out of old patterns, and we have to conquer our fears in order to do this. When you find yourself having trouble making a decision, ask yourself if you are afraid. There is a great quote from the movie Point Break, "Hesitation is Fear." I stumbled across a great blog on this quote, if you want to read more.
